


Mascot

by singingwithoutwords



Series: Crackverse [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Tony needs sleep, honestly doesn't even really count as a full fic, nothing can unbalance bruce banner, the author apologizes for that, very small monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:11:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3791044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singingwithoutwords/pseuds/singingwithoutwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony finds a monster under his bed.  The Avengers needed a mascot, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mascot

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this tumblr post](http://tinysciencecow.tumblr.com/post/101785984905/dajo42-realistically-the-space-under-my-bed-is).

Tony was not alone when he came down for breakfast. While he did occasionally breeze through with a one-night-stand on his arm, they never actually joined him at the breakfast table, and all present sincerely hoped nothing naughty had been going on with this specific companion.

For starters, it was about fifteen inches tall and covered in ink-black scales. A good six or seven inches of that was its enormous head, dominated by massive yellow eyes and a grumpy expression. It had two horns on its crown, also black, that swept up and back, making it look taller than it actually was. Its feet were overly large for the size of its tiny body, and it had a thick stubby tail, the tip of which it held in one tiny forepaw/hand. It even had wings, teeny ones barely larger than its eyes. It was clinging to Tony's shoulder like a demanding toddler, whining in his ear. Tony did not seem upset or annoyed by this; he just made absent-sounding soothing noises as he bee-lined for the coffee pot.

Nobody moved or made a sound until Tony was occupied guzzling his first dose of caffeine. Then Natasha set down her fork, stood up, and walked out of the room at a steady, unhurried pace, expression neutral, pancakes still mostly untouched.

“Um... Tony?” Clint spoke up, reaching over and inching Natasha's plate closer to his own. “You, uh... there's... anything interesting happen while we were asleep?”

Tony glanced back over the shoulder not currently supporting a tiny black dragon/demon thing. “What?”

“You've got something on your shoulder,” Clint tried again, succeeding in securing Natasha's plate for himself.

“Huh? Oh, right.” Tony paused to pour himself another cup of coffee, then turned fully toward the room. “Meet Kaiju. He's our new team mascot.”

“Dare we ask?” Bruce asked.

“I found him under my bed last night,” Tony said. “Spent most of the night coaxing him out into the open and finding a name we could both agree on. I think he's hungry, he tried to eat my closet door, so- food. Any suggestions on what to feed the tiny monster?”

Bruce, unruffled because apparently he was just immune to ruffling by now, stood up. “What sort of teeth does he have?”

“Kaiju, show the man your teeth,” Tony said, helping Kaiju more fully onto his shoulder.

Kaiju opened his mouth wide, displaying a single row of very sharp teeth before yawning so hard he wobbled and fell off Tony completely. Only Bruce's reflexes saved him from a violent introduction to the kitchen floor.

“Sounds like you both had a long night,” Bruce commented, setting Kaiju on the counter where the little thing yawned again, shuffled in tight circles for a few seconds, then curled up in a ball and promptly fell asleep. “Why don't you take him into the living room? I'll wake you up when I've figured out what to feed him.”

“Thanks, Brucie,” Tony said, scooping up a boneless-seeming Kaiju. “Nobody tell Pepper, okay?”

He wandered out of the room, slightly unsteady on his feet. Bruce and Clint watched him go, then turned to the breakfast bar.

“Oh, please don't tell him,” Pepper begged with an impish grin. “You'll ruin my fun.”


End file.
